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Mary Ellen Day Carey (1868-1954)
This is the story of my grandmother, a lady born into the hardships of pioneer life and who through the vagaries of life would seldom ever be the mistress of her own home. Her father, James Day and her mother Sarah Shepherd immigrated to America from Somersetshire in southwest England. We speculate that they were probably acquainted and very likely it was planned that they would be together one day in Wisconsin, where Sarah's eldest brother Richard had already settled.
I have the original 1860 document in which James Day renounces allegiance to Victoria, Queen of England and becomes an American citizen, declaring that he arrived through the port of New York in May of 1857. He married Sarah Shepherd in Oshkosh, Winnebago Co., Wisconsin a year after his arrival. I also have their original marriage certificate. Sarah was brought to Wisconsin along with her brother James [who was a deaf mute] by an Aunt who then returned to England.
Mary Ellen, born January 28, 1868 in Omro, Wisconsin was the fifth child of James and Sarah Day after George, William, James and John. When she was five years old her mother died. In a nearby community lived a Mrs. Phoebe Churchouse who had known the Days in Somerset. She hitched horse to buggy and drove fifteen miles to the Day home to offer whatever assistance she could. It was decided that Mary Ellen and her eight year old brother John Shepherd Day would be put into the care of the Churchouse family. In due time, James Day married a widow, Harriet Button and Mary Ellen and John returned home to live with their own family.
Only six years after his wife's death, James Day knew that he was terminally ill. He immediately made arrangements for his daughter to be raised by the Capt. James Minor family. Mrs. Minor was the daughter of Phoebe Churchouse. And so when her father died in the fall of 1879, Mary became a member of the Minor family and another sacrifice had to be made; they already had a Mary and my grandmother became "Mollie". To many, she remained Mollie for the rest of her life, but in our family we always resented hearing her called by that name.
About 1883 the Minor and Churchouse families moved from Wisconsin to what was then still Dakota Territory. I believe that Mary Ellen's brother John also went with them to the Dakotas. But it was around that time this beloved favorite brother knew it was time for him to move on. He packed his meager belongings, slung them over his back and set off down the road, stopping every now and then to turn and wave farewell to his sister. The farewells ceased only when they could no longer see one another. Over the years they kept in touch but it was not until fourty-five years later that the two old and white-haired Day children would be together again.
Mary Ellen was twenty years old when she "caught the eye" of Myres Davidson Carey whose family had re-located from Ontario, Canada to South Dakota in 1885. A year and a half later in August 1889 they were married. Myres' father, George had passed away the year before and Myres was living at home with his aging mother and his spinster sister, Mary Emiline. The farm was his with the understanding that he would always provide for his mother and sister.
My grandmother had spent most of her life in the homes of others and was accustomed to being subservient. She was not a complainer but rather accepted life as it came her way. Which was just as well, for although I have no knowledge of the disposition of my great grandmother, Emily Wright Carey, it is well documented that sister-in-law Mary Emiline was an authoritarian tyrant. Compliant Mary Ellen would have been no match for her anyway.
Mary Ellen was a frail little woman to be bearing her babies on the frontier and so it no doubt was a blessing for her that she was able to devote herself completely to raising her five children, Clara, Valley, Arthur, Merle and Mary. Her mother-in-law passed away in 1901 and Mary Emaline made frequent trips away from Clark County, often to check on the welfare of her sister Rachel's daughters; a visit that was not joyfully anticipated by their step-mother!
In 1906 the family of Myres Davidson Carey and his sister Mary Emiline moved from South Dakota to the newly constituted province of Saskatchewan. They were soon able to take up residence on a farm three miles south of the growing settlement of Foam Lake. Here the family prospered. The two older daughters married after short teaching careers and grandchildren began to arrive. The church, the community and music were at the center of their lives in Canada just as it had been south of the border. Ar
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